fun-towns

Merry Thanks-Giving from Your Over-Caffeinated-Catechist

http://youtu.be/TQnXuc-TbeU

"What have you that you did not receive?" 1 Corinthians 4:7

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Firstly thank you, dear reader, for reading and hanging out here with me on this thing. Its been fun, and I think if you and me stick together, we'll really go somewhere. So in honor of this glorious holiday that is frequently under appreciated and ruined by preemptive commercial Christmas decorations, I thought I should take a minute to send you a personal and intimate video exhorting you to think about the issues this Thanksgiving.

For all Thanksgiving-relevant Catechism passages check out this link.

Eat some turkey for me.

You're welcome.

Augustinian Soul Music: Sam Rocha "Late to Love" Release

10542076_488607827943430_6883205044718773552_o If St. Augustian owned an electric guitar instead of a pen and hung out with Ray Charles, then his Confessions might have sounded something like this.

Sam Rocha is a philosopher, author, and musician who released his Kickstarter funded album Late to Love (Wiseblood Records) yesterday.

"Late to Love is an original concept album that performs a reading of Augustine’s Confessions through soul music. It is not a generic ode to a saint or holy person, nor it is a neutral and uncontroversial celebration of an important ancient book. From beginning to end Rocha offers a bold and fresh reading of Augustine’s Confessions where the form is the content, where melody and verse take the place of assertions and argument." (from latetolove.bandcamp.com)

He calls it Augustinian Soul. And I believe him.

This description, obviously written by Sam, I found on the Wiseblood website:

"Soul music is not so much a genre as it is a sentiment, a quality. When a musician “has soul” it is not something that is stylistic or technical. No. To have soul is to have a certain conviction, grit, and sincerity. Soulful music is music that has the capacity to show and offer love. Augustinian soul music, then, verges on redundant since, for Augustine, it is the heart that moves the soul. Two traditions, philosophy and music, have for centuries reflected and practiced the art of soul craft. In Late to Love, Sam Rocha, a philosopher and musician, combines those traditions in pursuit of the sound and song that can be recognized as soulful, that moves the body, heart, and mind, reaching out to the intimate place where the ego is absent and where God abides in its place. This place is what has been called the soul; its song endures in and out of religious or devotional settings – and for good reason. The world today is filled with stylists and technicians of all sorts, bureaucrats and managers and experts, but, in the midst of so much knowledge and sophistication, the simple human touch, the touch that reaches the heart and moves the soul without insulting the intellect, is all too rare. Late to Love is soul music, inspired by the soul craft of music and philosophy, without comprising the integrity of either."

This album is raw and doesn't give a what. (Listen to it here on band camp.)   You'll find some disturbing lines that reveal a lover who is lacking any filter of self-consciousness. Some of the most disturbingly sincere lines:

"My watch hands don't glow my heart ain't got no usb" "Pinocchio is fake, but that nose seems so real" "If the water ain't hot, then them dishes ain't clean. Make your eggs with love."

My favorite line by far is from the track Alien House:

"While the alien wishes for, just awhile longer, washed like soiled dishes, before the funk grows any stronger."

There is depth I'm missing to some of these lines and songs as a whole that edge this album close to esoteric, and maybe that's just the soul of song. Some people smarter and more philosophical than myself have already caught on to what Sam is grooving.

Sam excels at that grooving and whining electric guitar fingerpicking style that often makes me think I'm hearing bow ties and black dresses clinging glasses and silverware in a late night jazz club. This is a diverse album though with a wide range of sound across the tracks.

I threw down $50 for the Late to Love cause with two others who challenged Sam on Facebook to do a ridiculously sincere cover of a Veggie Tales song. Here is the glorious rendition:

[youtube=http://youtu.be/l374EZU7G7o?list=UUgUqMckwi8jhFXSfjuJqPhg]

Buy Sam Rocha's Album Late to Love because its a good album with roots in truth and funk. Its hard to come across a marriage of the two as sincere as this.

And make sure you have a copy of The Confessions of Saint Augustine to read along late tonight while listening to this album with a glass of whiskey.

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Some Notes to the Director of My Personal Video Trailer

Hey guys! Real excited about this upcoming project. Thought I'd let you take a quick sneak peak at the email I just sent: Hey Rob,

Thanks a lot for agreeing to work on this project with me. Glad to be working with Spirit Juice Studios, you guys are the best.

The purpose of this video trailer is to get people to see how awesome I am so they invite me to come speak at some big conference or something.

Contained herein are some Director’s Notes to help us during the filming process.

Scene 1

A wide-angle shot of Times Square at street level. The sun is beginning to set on the Big City. Tiny people in the distance walk to and from pagan destinations unknown. Cars are passing. Wait, who’s that left of center strutting toward the camera? A handsome man, 5’11”, brown hair, athletic build. Catholic.

Ok I’ll just say it - Me.

He/me is wearing a shirt that says “Ask me why I’m Catholic” but it doesn’t look lame it looks hipster. I’m carrying a RSV Bible and my pants are too tight in a way that makes you feel slightly uncomfortable but also slightly comfortable in my ability to relate. The Bible is the big leather kind with the icon of Jesus on the front because I’m serious and I’m here to freaking change lives. He/I stare into the camera walking confidently with a glimmer in my eye that says “Hey there. I know you know Jesus knows what we’re doing here.”

Crowds start to gather around me. I extend my arms towards them. Bystanders start weeping uncontrollably. I kiss a baby. I make a man blind just to restore his sight again. Some epic Gregorian chant mixed with dubstep starts playing and now you’re thinking “Holy cats, am I going to crap my pants?”

I walk under a marquee that reads “TONIGHT: Edmund Mitchell and Jesus Christ.” and walk into Madison Square Garden Arena.

Black screen with white text: You aren’t going to crap your pants.

Yet.

Scene 2

Cut to the dark arena bursting at the seams. People are sitting two to a seat and gaze at the empty stage. The anticipation is so thick you can cut it with a thurible. Its the first International Steubenville Conference held in Madison Square Garden.

Camera zooms and floodlights direct to the rafters. Pope Francis drops in from the ceiling on a zip line and fireworks shoot out of his shoes as he flies around the arena with a megaphone chanting “EDMUND EDMUND EDMUND”, hyping the sea of people into a chaotic frenzy.

Matt Maher is off stage playing stuff he didn’t know he could play that’s coming from deep within his Canadian soul and he’s killing it. King David is playing a flaming harp that sounds like Jimmy Hendrix was a Catholic while the bass just keeps dropping and there aren't speakers anywhere because the music is coming from creation itself and even the rocks are crying out: EDMUND! EDMUND! EDMUND!

I enter stage left carried on Jim Gaffigan’s shoulders. The audience craps their pants and the shockwave of decibels created from the eruptive cheers/pantcrapping causes a small tidal wave in Michael Vorris’ hair felt halfway around the world.

No one dares ask me why I’m Catholic because my holiness is electric. I open my mouth to speak as Jesus looks down from heaven and nods approvingly. My tongue becomes incorruptible even though I’m not dead yet.

I’m just warming up.

I speak for 40 days and 40 nights and people are living on my words alone because they’re coming forth from the mouth of God using my mouth to let the words come forth but not in a prideful way. More like in a humble and instrumentally causal kinda way.

Chris Stephanik is speechless.

He’s not there, but he heard from someone who was there that Mark Hart said something funny and no one noticed because I’m speaking and you have to PIPE DOWN Mark because I’m KILLING IT. Ennie Hickman falls out of his chair somewhere in the middle of the woods. Bob Rice gives me a standing ovation and lets me wear his beard. Scott Hahn comes on stage for a few minutes but all anyone remembers is he said “What Edmund said.” Fr. Mike Schmitz gives me permission to start all my talks with the word “So,” and the camera keeps panning as the bass keeps dropping.

The crowd encores me three times and Moses has to get involved holding my arms up while I tell another story that’s hilarious and cuts you to the heart and makes you want to become a Priest and call your mom and apologize.

People go straight to heaven. Everyone. Just lifted up.

Scene 3

Quick montage of clips as Matt Maher continues to play in the background singing a rock ballad to me and Jesus and the bass continues to drop. Just some ideas.

Cut to: I’m in Honduras hiking up a mountain carrying a Priest carrying the Monstrance as thousands of Hondurans chase us.

Cut to: I’m standing on top of St. Peter’s shaking my groove thing.

Cut to: I’m in Africa playing soccer with kids in a sandy field while holding a child all inside a Facebook profile picture.

Cut to: I’m at the UN saying challenging things about Jesus and forgiveness and the true meaning of tolerance. I make Vladimir Putin shoot milk out his nose I’m so funny.

Cut to: I’m hanging out with Zac Effron on MTV and kids think I’m totally relevant and look up to me like that cool older brother they want to be.

Cut to: I’m in Mass levitating as I pray and Cardinal Dolan and Stephen Colbert take me out to breakfast afterwards and ask me to tell them that one story again and pray over them.

————————————————————————————————-

You get the gist. Just throwing out some ideas. I’ll call you in the morning so we can go over this in more detail.

+JMJ Edmund

 

A Few Things Before We Hold Hands At Mass

Hi. My name is Keith. You haven’t noticed, but I’ve been watching you ever since I squeezed past your knees to get to the middle of this pew about 9 minutes ago. I want to let you know that today God has preordained you to be blessed in a very special way. As of now, you have passed my peripheral inspection and I will actually hold your hand during the Our Father. Before God formed you in the womb he knew you, and before you chose this prime pew real estate on what seemed like a normal Sunday 11:30 Mass, the angels have been leading you ever closer to this hand communion. During the Our Father here at St. Dude the Nice we normally all hold hands lovingly, as you probably know because you look like you come here often. Not like, in a bad way though.

Now I want to let you know, I don’t just let anyone hold my hand. Have you heard of MRSA? It’s scary stuff. And its an evil in our Church that is literally leading people to Satan.

But you… You look clean.

But not too clean. I sat next to a guy once who looked too clean.  I didn’t trust him. Feast of St. Stephen, day after Christmas. He had a Michael Vorris look to him. Didn’t hold his hand. Nope.

But you. You have all your teeth and a holiness that really shines in a totally humble and profoundly charitable way. Well, actually I really just noticed that you are wearing a scapular.

Oh hey, First Reading… It always creeps up on me.

Okay let’s talk general guidelines real quick.

First. We will by no means be interlocking fingers. Interdigitation is for hippies. If you try something like that I will end our mildly-intimate physical prayer contact so fast you’ll think I was Pope Urban the VII.

Second. I’m not a fan of hand-raising at the words “For the kingdom and the power…”. If you are, well good luck there buddy. I know two things for sure.

1: The small old women at this parish are conspiring to kill the prime minister of Malaysia.

2: My hand will stay firmly at upper-mid waist level.

If you got some beef with that, you can take your liturgical non-sense down the street where they sing Lord of the Dance, says me. I’m going to stay at waist level because I love Jesus. Plus I work out and can think heavy. You really want to attempt to hold this beast of a forearm up that high for that long? I pray a lot of rosaries. And Father could be feeling particularly saucy today, audible, and then sing the Our Father. What then?

Thirdly. My hands get real sweaty. Don’t clasp my prayer digits too firmly. We aren’t going to prom. I’m not going to buy you dinner.

As long as we are good on this 3-Point System, we won’t have problems. Who knows, maybe next week I’ll sit near you again. Maybe a pew in front of you. And when you see me not holding hands with Karen, that Mom with lots of kids and who knows how much bacteria on her grimy grubbies, we’ll make that knowing eye contact during the sign of peace and you’ll feel the warm embrace of sweet divine affirmation. And we’ll give each other a quick nod and hand shake and you’ll remember this day as the day Keith allowed you to hold his hand during the Our Father. It’s a big day for you. Are you ready for it? Do you feel the consolation?

I’m definitely staying as far away as possible from Felipe the Usher, who’s partially deaf and would hold my hand through the dismissal if I let him. Gross.

Alright here we go. Show time. Oh, one last thing.

Don’t. Even. Think. About. Hugging. Me.

Your Temporarily More-Than-A-Stranger,

Keith